But God is Bigger

"And there went out a champion out of the camp of the Philistines, named Goliath, of Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span... Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied. This day will the Lord deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. And all this assembly shall know that the Lord saveth not with sword and spear: for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give you into our hands." (1 Samuel 17:4, 45-47)

Ever since I started my mission papers it seems that my trials were ramped up in many different ways. I fractured and sprained my foot, I got the run around from my doctor in two separate appointments, far too many panic attacks to count at this point, exams this week, several essays and presentations during the last week, looking at my checking account makes me want to cry, my dog is old and likely dying, my wardrobe dwindles smaller every time I sort through it getting rid of immodest and ill fitting clothing, I fly out to Utah in 12 days, I woke up late this morning and nearly missed my millionth doctor appointment, I locked my keys in my car, and not being able to go to the temple with my family before I leave for Utah because I need my mission call. 

Friday and Saturday I felt like my chest was going to explode. I felt trapped and scared. How was I going to get everything done in time? Should I go back out to Utah for the summer? Will my foot be healthy enough for me to work? Will it give me problems on my mission? Will I ever turn in my paperwork? Will my doctor cooperate with me?

I prayed and prayed for help. Because of a quiet prompting I then wrote down everything that needs to get done in a list. I put this list in a folder that contains things that need to be dealt with soon such as my immunization record, wisdom teeth evaluation referral, etc. I, yet again, am learning the hard way that my way isn't always the best way. Now that I'm more organized, my list is nearly completely checked off. My anxiety levels are minimal. My podiatrist said that my foot should be back to normal within two to three weeks (let's pray it is two please). My mission papers are nearly complete. God is good! 

We all have Goliaths in our lives. We all have trials that seem too big and too difficult to bear. But you know what? Goliath might be big, but God is bigger. 

I testify to you that I know that Christ suffered, died, and lived again for each of us. He suffered so that He knows our trials and that He can provide the mercy we need. He died so that the dead may hear his message also. He lived so that we may live again through His grace. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God's true church. I know that God is so much bigger than our trials. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

Adventure soon awaits

"It may not be on the mountain height Or over the stormy sea, It may not be at the battle’s front My Lord will have need of me. But if, by a still, small voice he calls To paths that I do not know, I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine: I’ll go where you want me to go. I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord, Over mountain or plain or sea; I’ll say what you want me to say, dear Lord; I’ll be what you want me to be.

"Perhaps today there are loving words Which Jesus would have me speak; There may be now in the paths of sin Some wand’rer whom I should seek. O Savior, if thou wilt be my guide, Tho dark and rugged the way, My voice shall echo the message sweet: I’ll say what you want me to say. I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord, Over mountain or plain or sea; I’ll say what you want me to say, dear Lord; I’ll be what you want me to be.

"There’s surely somewhere a lowly place In earth’s harvest fields so wide Where I may labor through life’s short day For Jesus, the Crucified. So trusting my all to thy tender care, And knowing thou lovest me, I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere: I’ll be what you want me to be. I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord, Over mountain or plain or sea; I’ll say what you want me to say, dear Lord; I’ll be what you want me to be."

(I’ll Go Where You Want Me to Go, http://www.lds.org/manual/hymns/ill-go-where-you-want-me-to-go?lang=eng)

I remember when I first felt the call to serve a mission. It was almost three years ago. It was when the age change for missionaries was announced. I knew right then that I needed to serve a mission. The feeling grew as I pondered and prayed about it. 

Fast forward to now :). I have begun my mission papers, and less than two months from submitting them. The excitement and small amount of fear I feel is like nothing I've ever felt. I'll be going somewhere I've never been, thrown into something I've never done, with no contact with home except through email, letters, one phone call a year, and one Skype call a year, and an immense amount of walking. I won't even know where I'm going until after I submit all of my papers. Doesn't that just sound like an adventure?!

I know that my Redeemer lives and I know that I am meant to share that others. I bear to you my testimony that our missionaries are called of God to serve Him and His people. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen