Learning His Ways

I learned this week what happens when we are in the right place, the around the right people, doing the right things, but rushing the Lord 's timetable... I made a decision this week that really didn't need to be made for another few weeks. What I did wasn't wrong, it just was done at the wrong time. I was lucky enough to be going to the temple a couple hours later. I went and did some sealings and sat in the Celestial room for a time and felt horrible about what I'd done. However, I didn't feel guilty, I felt hurt.

I was praying to the Lord and asking why this happened, why I did this thing, why this always happens, etc. lots of self-pity. Then I felt a nudge to open a Book of Mormon to a "random page". I opened to Alma 34:38-41. it said, "That ye contend no more against the Holy Ghost, but that ye receive it, and take upon you the name of Christ; that ye humble yourselves even to the dust, and worship God, in whatsoever place ye may be in, in spirit and in truth; and that ye live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you. Yea, and I also exhort you, my brethren, that ye be watchful unto prayer continually, that ye may not be led away by the temptations of the devil, that he may not overpower you, that ye may not become his subjects at the last day; for behold, he rewardeth you no good thing. And now my beloved brethren, I would exhort you to have patience, and that ye bear with all manner of afflictions; that ye do not revile against those who do cast you out because of your exceeding poverty, lest ye become sinners like unto them; But that ye have patience, and bear with those afflictions, with a firm hope that ye shall one day rest from all your afflictions." Basically the Lord called me to repentance and told me I was being impatient.

Afterwards, I apologized to the person I had hurt, and I hopefully have made up for my immaturity I displayed. I knew I needed to work on my impatience, but I see now that I really need to work on it.

Patience can be viewed as the Christlike attribute everyone appreciates the most when it is given, but can be the most difficult to develop (that and humility). It really is something that is difficult to achieve, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. I know that as we pray for patience and strive to act on it, we will be blessed greatly. I leave these things with y'all, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Mountains and Valleys

“For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5))

I love this verse because it reminds me of the many reminders we’ve had from the prophets that trials aren’t forever. We aren’t always going to be climbing a mountain. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Every trial eventually has an end. Granted, some may be with us our whole lives, like disabilities. But we won’t have those in the resurrection.
Oftentimes the end of a trial happens when we learn something the Lord is trying to teach us. Sometimes it’s only when we humble ourselves and turn to the Lord that we are able to conquer a trial. 

Just recently I experienced something really really hard, compacted with stress from work and stress from school, it felt like I’d never make it out from under whatever rock had fallen on top of me. But a friend of mine pointed me in the right direction. No pity party, it’s now time to ask yourself, “Where am I spiritually lacking?” Well, my studies weren’t great, they were decent but not great. And so I revamped them (aka thanks from reading my revamped studies, I hope this inspires you to revamp yours too). 

I also, despite the pushback from Satan, attended church to partake of the sacrament. It was amazing and fulfilling. It filled me so much where I was feeling so empty. 

On Tuesday I went to the temple and I did an initiatory session. It was so beautiful and I learned so much. Afterwards I didn’t want to leave the temple grounds, so I sat outside the temple on a bench and just marveled at the temple and felt the Spirit and peace. 

This really is the way we can fully heal a broken heart, we turn to the Lord. I can’t say that I’m completely whole, but I’m on the right path. 

Joy in the Temple

This week has been unbelievably stressful. My personal job, and school lives each imploded within 72 hours starting on Monday. Granted, I still have both jobs, I still have school and I'm no longer behind on homework, and I still have all my amazing and wonderful friends. But I started to listen to a lot of negative thinking as I wandered through last week in a lot of emotional pain. Sunday it hit me like a ton of bricks, "You are enough! The Atonement will help heal this pain if you move forward, despite what anyone else's decisions are. You are your own person." Well, dang! Haha! The sacrament helped a ton and I just want to emphasize to each of you that when you trust in the Lord, and move forward doing the things we know we need to do, you will be blessed and comforted. 

I’m coming to the conclusion of my studies on hearts in the Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine, and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. The next topic I am studying is joy. This is something I need to relearn how to have, given the events of last week, I want to be able to find more godly joy in my life. 

My study begins in Ezra (as this is the first mentioning of the word joy in the Bible). Ezra 3:11-13, “And they sang together by course in praising and giving thanks unto the Lord; because he is good, for his mercy endureth for ever toward Israel. And all the people shouted with a great shout, when they praised the Lord, because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid. But many of the priests and Levites and chief of the fathers, who were ancient men, that had seen the first house, when the foundation of this house was laid before their eyes, wept with a loud voice; and many shouted aloud for joy: So that the people could not discern the noise of the shout of joy from the noise of the weeping of the people: for the people shouted with a loud shout, and the noise was heard afar off.”

Why were they weeping with joy? Why was there such an explosion of emotion? Because the temple was being rebuilt. The house of the Lord. Can you imagine being without it? I was just depressed when I found out the Raleigh temple was going to be refurbished for a year so I’d have to drive down to Columbia, South Carolina when I needed to go to the temple! But I can’t even imagine how amazing it will be when the temple reopens and we have the cultural celebration and we’ll basically throw an amazing huge party celebrating the house of the Lord being open once again in the state of North Carolina.

I love the temple and I know of the peace that it can bring as we attend worthily and we seek the Lord with our whole hearts. I love the Lord so much and I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Temple Dresses and Talents

At the beginning of the summer my aunt gave me her first temple dress, and it was near perfect. The length and the waist were absolutely perfect. The only problem was that the bust was a size too big. I thought this shouldn't be an issue because I could just take it in on the sides, right? The end of my stay in Utah came and I really began to look at this dress not long before I flew home. I began to understand that this dress would be a bit more of a project than I originally thought. I discovered I couldn't just take it in on the sides, I would have to take it in on every seam because it was a size bigger (funny right?). 

One day I decided to take it on. I took apart the top and took in the seam allowance by half an inch. I ironed, clipped, sewed, grunted with frustration, seam ripped, sewed again, and so on till I finally got it. I did it! I tailored my first dress! It is beautiful and I am grateful that I will have a temple dress for the next few years. 

I have a testimony that we have talents for specific reasons. My sewing talent saved me at least forty dollars that I don't have right now. My Heavenly Father has a plan for me and I am grateful that he loves me enough to share with me such a beautiful talent. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

Love isn't just about two people

A few weeks ago in institute I heard a quote on marriage that really clicked. “Marriage is more than your love for each other. … In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations... Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man. … So love comes from you, but marriage from above, from God.” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison,ed. Eberhard Bethge (1953), 42–43.). This idea that marriage is more than just for two people has stuck with me.

The other day I was listening to some music and I heard that idea again. Ingrid Michaelson is really good about having love songs that are cheesy but also follow this new definition of love that I discovered. Love is progressive, and it isn't just about two people.

Granted, I'm not married, in a relationship, or even considering marriage within the next couple of years. But I do know what I have seen between my parents, and I want that.

I bear my testimony to you that that God loves us and he wants us to find love also. If we are married in the temple, and maintain our covenants, we will be able to progress toward the celestial kingdom with our spouses. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.