Learning His Ways

I learned this week what happens when we are in the right place, the around the right people, doing the right things, but rushing the Lord 's timetable... I made a decision this week that really didn't need to be made for another few weeks. What I did wasn't wrong, it just was done at the wrong time. I was lucky enough to be going to the temple a couple hours later. I went and did some sealings and sat in the Celestial room for a time and felt horrible about what I'd done. However, I didn't feel guilty, I felt hurt.

I was praying to the Lord and asking why this happened, why I did this thing, why this always happens, etc. lots of self-pity. Then I felt a nudge to open a Book of Mormon to a "random page". I opened to Alma 34:38-41. it said, "That ye contend no more against the Holy Ghost, but that ye receive it, and take upon you the name of Christ; that ye humble yourselves even to the dust, and worship God, in whatsoever place ye may be in, in spirit and in truth; and that ye live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you. Yea, and I also exhort you, my brethren, that ye be watchful unto prayer continually, that ye may not be led away by the temptations of the devil, that he may not overpower you, that ye may not become his subjects at the last day; for behold, he rewardeth you no good thing. And now my beloved brethren, I would exhort you to have patience, and that ye bear with all manner of afflictions; that ye do not revile against those who do cast you out because of your exceeding poverty, lest ye become sinners like unto them; But that ye have patience, and bear with those afflictions, with a firm hope that ye shall one day rest from all your afflictions." Basically the Lord called me to repentance and told me I was being impatient.

Afterwards, I apologized to the person I had hurt, and I hopefully have made up for my immaturity I displayed. I knew I needed to work on my impatience, but I see now that I really need to work on it.

Patience can be viewed as the Christlike attribute everyone appreciates the most when it is given, but can be the most difficult to develop (that and humility). It really is something that is difficult to achieve, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. I know that as we pray for patience and strive to act on it, we will be blessed greatly. I leave these things with y'all, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Joy in the Temple

This week has been unbelievably stressful. My personal job, and school lives each imploded within 72 hours starting on Monday. Granted, I still have both jobs, I still have school and I'm no longer behind on homework, and I still have all my amazing and wonderful friends. But I started to listen to a lot of negative thinking as I wandered through last week in a lot of emotional pain. Sunday it hit me like a ton of bricks, "You are enough! The Atonement will help heal this pain if you move forward, despite what anyone else's decisions are. You are your own person." Well, dang! Haha! The sacrament helped a ton and I just want to emphasize to each of you that when you trust in the Lord, and move forward doing the things we know we need to do, you will be blessed and comforted. 

I’m coming to the conclusion of my studies on hearts in the Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine, and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. The next topic I am studying is joy. This is something I need to relearn how to have, given the events of last week, I want to be able to find more godly joy in my life. 

My study begins in Ezra (as this is the first mentioning of the word joy in the Bible). Ezra 3:11-13, “And they sang together by course in praising and giving thanks unto the Lord; because he is good, for his mercy endureth for ever toward Israel. And all the people shouted with a great shout, when they praised the Lord, because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid. But many of the priests and Levites and chief of the fathers, who were ancient men, that had seen the first house, when the foundation of this house was laid before their eyes, wept with a loud voice; and many shouted aloud for joy: So that the people could not discern the noise of the shout of joy from the noise of the weeping of the people: for the people shouted with a loud shout, and the noise was heard afar off.”

Why were they weeping with joy? Why was there such an explosion of emotion? Because the temple was being rebuilt. The house of the Lord. Can you imagine being without it? I was just depressed when I found out the Raleigh temple was going to be refurbished for a year so I’d have to drive down to Columbia, South Carolina when I needed to go to the temple! But I can’t even imagine how amazing it will be when the temple reopens and we have the cultural celebration and we’ll basically throw an amazing huge party celebrating the house of the Lord being open once again in the state of North Carolina.

I love the temple and I know of the peace that it can bring as we attend worthily and we seek the Lord with our whole hearts. I love the Lord so much and I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Scary Deadlines

Here are a few statements I would like to make about my mission: I am scared,scratch that, I am terrified, I will miss my boyfriend, I will miss my family, I will miss my friends, I do feel inadequate, I feel a little overwhelmed by how much has fallen into place and how much I still feel crazy nervous, BUT this is the right decision for me. I felt the call to serve when I was 16 and the missionary age change was announced. It grew and grew until it was questioned this last winter. I realized I didn't absolutely have to serve a mission, but it was up to me and I knew I would be blessed for it. Then it rekindled stronger than before. It grew as I began filling out my paperwork. It grew ever bigger as I submitted my papers. Finally my call to serve in the Washington Seattle Mission came. It was an amazing and terrifying experience. Since I've come home I've had so many things fall into place for during and after my mission. My life is definitely not how I envisioned it. It is beautiful though. I will be dedicating my life to the service of my God and his children for the next 18 months starting in four days. Only four days! 

I will compare this to a seed as in Alma 32:28-43. It started small, but as I nourished my testimony of my call to serve, it grew and grew. It was good. It felt good. I had a purpose. It became a beautiful tree. I will continue to nourish it so that the fruit of my laboratory will be sweet. I will be the best missionary I can be, despite seasonal affective disorder, despite social anxiety, despite any trial I may come across.

I testify to y'all that I know that I can do all things through Christ, who strengtheneth me. I share these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Growth is Essential

"And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life-- Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?" (Mosiah 18:8-10) 

Tonight we had the missionaries over for dinner, and this scripture was given in their lesson. I've been reading Preach My Gospel a lot lately in preparation of my mission (9 days!!).

This scripture is obviously written for baptism but I had a revelation while listening to the elders read it again. It is the qualities of someone who is ready or baptism, but are they not also qualities of those who are also ready for more progress in the gospel, such as serving a mission, going to the temple, getting married, and so on. The gospel of Christ is the gospel of progression: always growing and developing. Stagnation is inpossible, you are either progressing towards Christ, or moving backwards.

I bear my testimony to you that growth is essential to being close to God. As we grow, we become more an more like our Heavenly Father. That's the goal, isn't it?i leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Temple Dresses and Talents

At the beginning of the summer my aunt gave me her first temple dress, and it was near perfect. The length and the waist were absolutely perfect. The only problem was that the bust was a size too big. I thought this shouldn't be an issue because I could just take it in on the sides, right? The end of my stay in Utah came and I really began to look at this dress not long before I flew home. I began to understand that this dress would be a bit more of a project than I originally thought. I discovered I couldn't just take it in on the sides, I would have to take it in on every seam because it was a size bigger (funny right?). 

One day I decided to take it on. I took apart the top and took in the seam allowance by half an inch. I ironed, clipped, sewed, grunted with frustration, seam ripped, sewed again, and so on till I finally got it. I did it! I tailored my first dress! It is beautiful and I am grateful that I will have a temple dress for the next few years. 

I have a testimony that we have talents for specific reasons. My sewing talent saved me at least forty dollars that I don't have right now. My Heavenly Father has a plan for me and I am grateful that he loves me enough to share with me such a beautiful talent. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

Breaking Destructive Cycles

Recently I have been able to be a cheerleader for someone who was struggling. This friend has been such a blessing in my life and I am thankful for them. Through my many strugglings over the last few months, he has been a wonderful support. On Thursday it was my turn to be his support. 

He had something huge due that he was really struggling with, and then suddenly it was the day before it was due. Panic set in. I also know that feeling all too well. He didn't have a direction with this assignment, or he did but it was vague. He kept spiraling back into, "I have so much to do and it is due tomorrow!" It is that panic that is crippling and doesn't get anything done. I was able to help him focus back onto his assignment and finishing. Every so often I'd send encouraging texts like, "You can do it!!"

This can be compared to our Savior and repentance. Sometimes we become overwhelmed by our trials and sins we feel trapped. Satan tells us that we can't escape. BUT WE CAN. Repentance is possible and very real. It isn't going to be like before. Our sins will not be wiped from our memory. BUT we can be made clean again. We can have our garments washed clean. We do not need to continue to walk around with our sins. We must wake up and stop our destructive cycles. We must begin to repent. I have. I have many many many times. And I am grateful every time.

I bear my testimony to you that repentance is real and possible. Through Christ's Atonement we are able to become clean. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Trusting God When Plans Change

To say this summer didn't go according to plan would be a major understatement. This was mostly fine, in fact it was wonderful. As everyone knows though, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. A lot of what happened this summer I thought I could leave behind and just focus on mission prep, I was WRONG. Haha. It's not a bad thing, it just wasn't according to plan. I am very blessed because it didn't go according to plan. I began learning to "play by ear" with the Spirit. That was so cool. But it was on a day to day basis, I wasn't necessarily looking forward in time much. 

Fast forward in time: I am home and I have 33 days till I fly out to the MTC. Everything is great except I have to make some big decisions within the next couple of years, as in as soon as I get back from my mission. I have officially sent an email to SVU with questions regarding another deferment for my enrollment and scholarship to 2018 instead of 2017.

In the last month I've been trying to include something like "please let everything happen according to thy plan" or "thy will be done". It's so hard and sometimes scary! I tend to like my plans. They tend to look the best before things happen. But I know that God knows what he's doing a lot better than I do. We do have agency which allows us to choose our own path, but He knows what is best for us and so it's best to trust Him. 

I testify to you that God knows and loves each of us. He has a plan for us. Sometimes it's hard, but it's always worth it. I leave these things with ou in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

From the inside out

"And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just--yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them--therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God." (Alma 31:5) I read this verse the other day, but I heard it again in sacrament meeting today. This may seem like a simple notion, that preaching the gospel will cause more change in people than the sword, but this notion is true! Love teaches and changes people than  a "system" or laws or wars or rules or regulations. If church is treated and taught to be a requirement and a punishment, then it will be viewed as such. If church is treated and taught to be as a treat, a special relaxing and spiritual escape, then it will be that. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes getting out of bed is hard. Sometimes getting kids in the car without screaming is hard. I know that living where I have lived, and going to school where I have, I have learned to love church. Church was an escape. Someplace sacred and quiet.

In high school I was not very nice and far too sarcastic, and then I learned about charity. Charity is the pure love of Christ (Moroni 7:46-48). I heard about it in seminary and slowly realized I lacked in this quality. I wanted it though. I started an internal change. Something that is being gained through my own choice. Not through the strict rules of my family. Not through the rules of school. Not through the standards of the church. I was already following those. I began to understand the spirit of those rules and standards. The change brought about came from within and with the spirit. 

I bear my testimony that I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has the full gospel. I know hat as we learn and live the gospel we will change from the inside out. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Girl Power!

Ladies, let's face it, we have it kind of rough. From periods to periods (and let's be honest, that is a true range of issues) to bad hair days to out of control hormones and so on. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair. We're criticized by everyone, mostly other women, that we're too fat, short, skinny, tall, awkward, nice, mean, ugly, pretty, it doesn't matter, for some reason it's always a bad thing even if it should be good in theory.

BUT YOU'RE REALLY AMAZING!!! You are a Daughter of God! You are beautiful no matter what you look like. Women are awesome! We help create and then carry little people! We are entrusted with our Heavenly Father's children to specially care for and co-raise these special spirits! We rock! We are given the errand of angels. 

For most young women, today periods won't be worth it. Today the mean girls at school might not see your worth. Today your broken heart might not be mended. But God has a plan for you and he counts your tears. He knows your trials and struggles. He knows that you sometimes feel alone. He knows YOU. Know that you're never alone. I testify that women have a divine nature that was specially given to us. I know that God loves me and that everything I go through will be worth it one day. So be peacemakers, be kind, lift one another up, and don't forget who you are. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Always Taken Care Of

I know I was blessed last semester. Gas may have been cheap, but going through gas is never cheap on a college budget. My tank would somehow hold two gallons more than it should every time I would fill it up, meaning it would fill two gallons more than what the gauge tracked. So it was "full" for at least thirty miles before it started to decrease again. This time around I'm not paying for my own gas and I've noticed that when it's full, it doesn't stay full for another thirty miles, it just decreases like normal. I know and love my Heavenly Father and I know he was watching out for me every day. Every day I prayed for monetary help. And often without noticing, I was blessed every day. I testify that God has a plan for each of us and he's always watching out for us. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Getting Rid of the Weeds

Yesterday I was gardening with my family. I moved from the garden around the pool, to the "middle garden" (it's a long garden in the middle of our yard with our peach and apple trees, watermelon, melon, pepper, and raspberry plants). I was given charge to weed there because it hadn't been weeded in a while. So I went over ad started to inspect the areas that needed the most love (we had a time limit). I found that within the area where the watermelons are planted, there were lots of weeds that looked suspiciously like the poison sumac I learned about at Young Women's camp. I went and grabbed my gloves and started pulling all of that out first. These weeds didn't have big root systems but trying to pull those out instead of the watermelons was hard because they were growing so close together. 

As I was weeding I thought about how the sacrament and repentance is very much like weeding. We try and not commit the same sins over and over, and the sacrament washes us clean like baptism. However, sometimes we need extra help with weeding. Sometimes we have weeds that have massive root systems and are hard to pull out. Sometimes we have a poisonous plant growing all over our garden. It is then that we need extra help. The poisonous plants could be compared to sins as serious as sexual sins. It's not impossible to take out, but we can't do it ourselves. With the help of our bishops, we are able to gain a better understanding of grace and how to use it.

I bear my testimony to you that I know that by grace we are saved after all we can do. I know that repentance is real and possible. We can overcome sin! It's not impossible! I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Nearly ready to go!

Today I was able to go help with the luncheon for the missionaries for a training of some sort. It was wonderful being able to serve with my fellow ward members and then see my favorite sister missionaries (those wonderful young ladies hug attacked me:) ). We worked very hard to serve the food and keep everything flowing. When we were finished with serving the food, I was able to go over and eat and spend time with the missionaries. It was fun, I enjoyed being able to meet some other sister missionaries and seeing Brother and Sister Hill again. Then when we finished cleaning up, they sang Called to Serve for us and it was powerful. It was in that moment I saw a bit of Zion, "one heart and one mind." It was beautiful. A group of people ages 18-25, and for 18 months to two years they are united with one purpose: serving the Lord's people by sharing his gospel. I look forward to being a part of this glorious cause. My wanderlust is boiling over. I am nearly ready to go. Just two months! I bear my testimony to you that I know that Christ lives, and loves me. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ has God's restored gospel. I know that as we serve our fellow man, we will be blessed. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Praying for Difficult Coworkers

In the book of Enos verses four through eleven it talks about Enos's conversion. He prayed to God concerning his sins and his sins were forgiven. His next thought was towards his own people. He prayed for their sakes. He loved his people and wanted the best for them. When the Lord answered his prayers for them, he prayed for the Lamanites. He prayed for his enemies.

This summer there has been a certain coworker that has driven everyone crazy, including myself. I have been praying for almost two months for patience and charity. I prayed for her to have it also. Recently I think we hit a break through (at least on my end, I don't know about her). I noticed a difference in her. She seemed to be more kind and patient. Granted, she still has her odd quirks, but I noticed a difference. My prayers were answered!

I know that as we pray for those around us and as we pray to have patience we will be blessed. God hears our prayers and loves each of us. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Name them One by One

On Wednesday I was having a really rough morning. 5.5 hours of sleep, car died on the way to work, alarm went off at work because I didn't have the code for the office for a couple of minutes, customer practically shouted at me because we opened at (I arrived at 7:14) 7:20 instead of 7:00 (excuse me, but I have to count out the safe and that's a little more important than your 8 ounces of coffee), coworker got into a car accident so it's just two of us for morning shift, customer wanted a refund because she didn't want to stay another night because of the rain, I dropped a whole roll of quarters when I was giving it to a customer, and I hadn't finished breakfast (I brought it with me) and it was only 8 in the morning!

It was about 08:45 when I realized that my bad mood resulting from the bad events was not going to help anyone, especially not me. The lyrics from the hymn "Count Your Blessings" came to mind, "When life's billows you are tempest tossed, when you are discouraged thinking all is lost, count your many blessings; name them one by one, and it will surprise what the Lord has done." So I decided to make a list of blessings.

I really had to think about what I have now that I didn't have before, what I have gained, what I have always had, and what I am lucky to have. It was relieving. I couldn't believe that, despite the simple list of things I came up within a few minutes, I felt better. It was very grounding and I felt so much better afterwards.

I testify to you that as we remember the things we are grateful for, we will feel the love of our Heavenly Father and Christ's grace will do it's job in giving us the strength we need. I'll close in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Love isn't just about two people

A few weeks ago in institute I heard a quote on marriage that really clicked. “Marriage is more than your love for each other. … In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations... Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man. … So love comes from you, but marriage from above, from God.” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison,ed. Eberhard Bethge (1953), 42–43.). This idea that marriage is more than just for two people has stuck with me.

The other day I was listening to some music and I heard that idea again. Ingrid Michaelson is really good about having love songs that are cheesy but also follow this new definition of love that I discovered. Love is progressive, and it isn't just about two people.

Granted, I'm not married, in a relationship, or even considering marriage within the next couple of years. But I do know what I have seen between my parents, and I want that.

I bear my testimony to you that that God loves us and he wants us to find love also. If we are married in the temple, and maintain our covenants, we will be able to progress toward the celestial kingdom with our spouses. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Learning a lot but not nearly enough

In missionary prep class and the lesson was mostly role play and the teacher made a couple of really good points during the lesson: the missionaries are supposed to develop the gift of discernment in questions (read the question within the question, aka find the eternal question within the mortal question) and members are vital to missionary work. In our role play the teacher was an investigator whose wife just died and he had questions about life after death, but his unspoken question (which was technically spoken because it was just a role play in a missionary prep class) was whether he will see her again. Through a member (whether they be a friend to the investigator or they just came) we can infuse life experience into our testimonies and lessons so that people will find more common ground with the gospel, rather than just hearing it from a couple of inexperienced people barely old enough to vote. There's a lot that goes into missionary work and there is a lot we can learn about people and how to deal with them from serving a mission. I will be learning so much. I am very excited to serve in the Seattle Washington mission. I know God loves each of us and as we serve his children, we will grow closer to him. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Mission Call

I AM GOING TO THE WASHINGTON STATE SEATTLE MISSION!!!!!

Unqualified

“When we are on the Lord’s errand, we are entitled to the Lord’s help. Remember that whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies.” (Thomas S. Monson, “Duty Calls,” Liahona, July 1996, 42; Ensign, May 1996, 44.)

I have been thinking a lot about being a missionary and other roles I will play in my life lately. A thought kept popping up every time I would worry about those roles: "God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called." As I prepare for my mission I worry some about being a good missionary, but I also worry about one day becoming a wife and mother. How would I, imperfect, obnoxious, impatient, clumsy, impulsive, blunt Lyssa, ever be a good missionary, wife, and mother? But again I am reminded that I have already been called then later qualified for a previous calling and that God will do so again.

My first calling was activity days leader. I came into that calling not knowing any of the girls, I am not crafty, and I did not know how to manage people very well. However, as time went on and I prayed for each activity to go well, that I and the girls would feel the Spirit, and we would finish the activity. I grew to love all 13 of those girls, and my testimony truly grew. I became qualified for that calling. 

I know that God will help me and guide me as I ask for help in each calling I have in my life. I know that through grace, the atonement will make up for my shortcomings. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

I am a Pioneer

I have been into family history for about a year now and the faith of these precious pioneers still amaze me. They left their homes and their families to come to a country that was very unknown. The Mormon pioneers were chased out of their homes out to Utah, and were still persecuted once there. My other ancestors came to America mostly for the farming opportunities, and the trials they endured were harsh and not to be discounted either. I love family history work, and I love finding similarities to my ancestors. I am the first generation on my dad's side to be a child of the covenant. I think I am the first sister on both sides of my family to serve a mission. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ and it blesses me everyday. I testify these thing to you, in the name of Jesus Christ amen. #iamapioneer 

https://familysearch.org/iamapioneer

To the tune of service

"For the worth of souls is great in the sight of God." D&C 18:10

Today I went to the missionary prep class for the first time, it was awesome by the way and was taught by an amazing teacher. Our lesson was on questions, and how to use the right kind of questions to help build other's testimonies and provoke thought. Something was mentioned that really struck home to me: We are all playing a different tune in our lives in regards to the gospel and our spiritual needs, and it is one of the jobs of the missionaries to recognize that tune, through the Spirit of course, and administer to the spiritual needs of that person. This not only applies to missionaries but to many other callings involving working with people. The theology major doesn't need the same lesson as the recently divorced young mother. Everyone's tune is different, but the spirit will always guide you, you just need to listen.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we believe that the gospel of Jesus Christ is personalized in many ways to each individual. Every person feels the Holy Ghost a different way, and sometimes it is harder for others and at different times in our lives to feel it. Every person has different talents and skills in the gospel. But if we ask for guidance, and we remain worthy, the Holy Ghost will speak to us. 

I testify that each of us can receive revelation through the Holy Ghost on how to best serve others and sense the tune of each person in need of service. I know that God still speaks to us and has not left us behind. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.