Giving and Taking and Changing

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a temper. There are a few things that get me really worked up, some are politics (please don't ask what party because if you can't see through the lines of my last post, then that's your mystery), when someone picks on my friend or sibling (seriously, don't go there, I have barely restrained myself in times past), and a couple of people who know exactly to get under my skin (seriously, one or two people on the planet). For a while I had let my temper and my mouth run the way it wanted go, I just didn't care. But, at a certain point I got sick of myself. I really just got tired if how heavy it was to carry around all of that anger and care-not-for-you attitude, anger is putting it mildly but I suppose it's the only word that fits.

Another turning point was when my seminary teacher created a class motto. It was Moroni 7:45-48. 

"45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

"46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail--

"47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

"48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen."

(http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7?lang=eng)

What a beautiful scripture! It was when I started to take this to heart was when I felt myself change for the better. People began to see a difference in me, a real difference in my countenance. 

And then one of those two people came into my life again. I had pushed them out time and time again for my own sanity. But they just popped up again every few weeks/months. It just wasn't fair! Why did they have to come stomping back into my life? Why did I have to deal with them again? Hadn't I suffered enough? But I recently realized that I was thinking all about myself. I hadn't even tried to put myself in their position. I am trying, and so far it's going alright.

For the longest time I had prayed for a missionary opportunity, but Heavenly Father was preparing people for me at that time. At the time I obviously wasn't prepared to answer the questions I would need to answer and I didn't have the patience I would need. I didn't have the charity I needed to be a good missionary.

Finally when Heavenly Father knew I was ready he sent me one, then two, then three, by the last day of school I had given out four Books of Mormon and one friend had started reading the Book of Mormon all on her own. The love I have for these sisters,these fellow children of God is what drove me to continue answering their questions instead of brushing them off and changing the topic the way I used to. I LOVE them. They are the sweetest young women I have ever met and I look forward to being their friend and seeing their progression in life.

The Lord gives and takes in his own time and in his own way. What a glorious blessing He is! It is our responsibility to pay attention and endure the giving and taking he does and do our best with it. I bear my testimony that the Book of Mormon changes lives and helps develop charity and love towards our fellow man. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.