Bread half baked

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7 http://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/1-sam/16?lang=eng)

This morning I made more artisan bread (haha I almost have a problem but that's beside the point). I let the dough rise over night and then stuck it in the oven this morning. The oven at my extended family's house is different than the one at home, and the elevation is much higher here than where I am from. So I did not know exactly how long to leave the dough in the oven, so I knocked off about ten minutes assuming it will take less time to bake.

I took the bread out of the oven and it looked perfect. I stuck the thermometer in the center of the bread, but I found that the bread only reached about 140 degrees Fahrenheit. When bread is cooked all the way through, it is between 180 and 200 degrees. When I pulled out the thermometer, there was a bit of dough stuck to it. I was so dissappointed. I was so sure that it was ready, but the poke and temperature test doesn't lie. My bread was not ready. I then put the dough back in the oven for ten minutes and baked it till it passed the poke and temperature test. 

Sometimes we think we are ready for things in our lives, and when we think we know that we know better. When the Holy Ghost and our commandments tell us one thing, but our minds tell us another thing, which do we choose? In high school i had a reasonably sized testimony, and believed I could withstand anything. In the For the Strength of the Youth pamphlet, a set of commandments specially made for teenagers and that tough time in our lives, it talks about many things including dating. In that pamphlet it says that we should go on double dates and group date, and not to have a boyfriend or girlfriend until after high school. In my junior year I met a guy, and we began individual dating (aka boyfriend of girlfriend). I was happy and fine till we split. *trumpet noise* "Enter the emotional roller coaster and a whole mixture of trials that came for about seven months!" I do wish I had listened to my leaders. Sometimes our bread isn't quite ready to come out of the oven, and good things are worth waiting for. 

I bare my testimony to you that God doesn't just give us commandments because he wants to; He gives us commandments for a reason. We may not know the reason, but God can see everything and has blessings for us when we follow His commandments. I leave these thing with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

See God has Got a Plan for You

"We may not know when or how the Lord’s answers will be given, but in His time and His way, I testify, His answers will come. For some answers we may have to wait until the hereafter. This may be true for some promises in our patriarchal blessings and for some blessings for family members. Let us not give up on the Lord. His blessings are eternal, not temporary."

(Waiting upon the Lord: Thy Will Be Done, http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/waiting-upon-the-lord-thy-will-be-done?lang=eng)

A few weeks ago while I was working on my mission papers, behind in my school work due to being sick for a week, overwhelmed by my calling, I was stuck in a boot, I was also (and still am) concerned about college, careers, and one day becoming a mother (for various reasons). I felt claustrophobic from everything. Everything seemed to be closing in on me.

I was attempting to clean my room while listening to music when I began to question everything. "Will I get my three papers done for english, history, and psychology? And get four larger cups finished in ceramics? Why was I even trying? Why would I serve a mission? How would that benefit me ever? Why can't I just stay here, go to school at home, and tell SVU that I don't want to go? Will I really ever be a mother? Would I be able to go off of my medication for the duration of the future pregnancies and such, if I can hardly concentrate on driving after missing my pill one day? Am I really smart enough to get a doctorate in history? Will I really be able to live in the dorms and successfully manage myself?" All of these things were going through my head while I was trying to pick up my room. Then "Don't You Worry Child" by Swedish House Mafia came on and I heard these words:

"Up on the hill across the blue lake,
That's where I had my first heart break
I still remember how it all changed
My father said
Don't you worry, don't you worry child
See [God has] got a plan for you
Don't you worry, don't you worry now
Yeah!"

It was then that I had the prompting to start clearing my bedside table. I was throwing trash away and putting away books when I found my patriarchal blessing. I had thought that I already knew all of it like the back of my hand, but a prompting from the Holy Ghost isn't one to be ignored. I turned off my music, sat down on my floor by my bedside table and read my patriarchal blessing.

It was everything I needed to hear. It covered everything that I needed to know; everything that I needed to know to keep going. It gave me a glimpse of the results in store that would be in place if I did what I was supposed to do. I started to cry. God has a plan for me!  He knows my struggles, my weaknesses and pains. He knows my potential, my strengths and limitations. Despite these, He still loves me! I stood up and continued to clean my room with a renewed purpose. 

God loves each of us, and he has a plan for you, and you, and you! If we do what is right and follow His light, we will be blessed. I bear my testimony that I know that God still speaks to us today. He has not left us! He lives! He sent his son to suffer, die, and live for us so that we may also live again. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

Scripture Nerd!!

In the King James Bible there is a total of 783,137 words and can be read in 70 hours. In the Book of Mormon there is a total of 268,163 words and can be read in 22 hours. In the Doctrine and Covenants there is a total of 134,804 words and can be read in 14 hours. In the Pearl of Great Price there is a total of 30,362 words and can be read in 4 hours. That's a total of 1,216,466 and 109 hours or 4.5 days, and that comes from 5 books if you count the Old and New Testament as separate books.

Now let's compare with some other series. The Lord of the Rings series consists of the Hobbit (95,022 words or 11 hours), the Fellowship of the Ring (177,227 words or 19 hours), the Two Towers (143,436 words or 17 hours), and the Return of the King (134,462 words or 18 and a half hours). This series has a total of 550,147 words and 65.5 hours or 2.7 days, and this comes from 4 books.

In the Harry Potter series there is the Sorcerer's Stone (76,944 words and 8.5 hours), the Chamber of Secrets (85,141 words and 9 hours), the Prisoner of Azkaban (107,253 words and 12 hours), the Goblet of Fire (190,637 words and 20.5 hours), The Order of the Phoenix (257,045 words and 29.25 hours), the Half-Blood Prince (168,923 words and 18.5 hours), and the Deathly Hallows (198,227 words and 21.75 hours). With a total of 1,084,170 and 119.5 hours or 5 days, and this comes from 7 books. 

Still think seminary and institute students don't deserve the honored title of "nerds" or belong to their own bonafide fandom? In order to get the Moroni award or the Christus award the seminary students have to read each book of scripture through the whole school year (and I'd like to say that most students read the selected book of scripture anyway, but I don't know for sure, I know did though). In order to pass institute the students much read the respective book within that school year. 

I have such a strong testimony of the scriptures and I am so grateful for my wonderful seminary teachers who raised the bar for me. Sister Cogdell, Sister  Sarah Westbrook, Sister Wright, and the long-term substitute Sister Cross are the wonderful women who helped shape my love for the scriptures. Through seminary I learned more than just facts, stories and doctrines. I learned patience, leadership, writing skills, critical thinking, and charity (the pure love of Christ). 

I bear my testimony that I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God's church. I know that the scriptures are true and that Joseph Smith Jr. was a prophet of God who translated the Book of Mormon, the Pearl of Great Price, and received much of the revelation in the Doctrine and Covenants. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

But God is Bigger

"And there went out a champion out of the camp of the Philistines, named Goliath, of Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span... Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied. This day will the Lord deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. And all this assembly shall know that the Lord saveth not with sword and spear: for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give you into our hands." (1 Samuel 17:4, 45-47)

Ever since I started my mission papers it seems that my trials were ramped up in many different ways. I fractured and sprained my foot, I got the run around from my doctor in two separate appointments, far too many panic attacks to count at this point, exams this week, several essays and presentations during the last week, looking at my checking account makes me want to cry, my dog is old and likely dying, my wardrobe dwindles smaller every time I sort through it getting rid of immodest and ill fitting clothing, I fly out to Utah in 12 days, I woke up late this morning and nearly missed my millionth doctor appointment, I locked my keys in my car, and not being able to go to the temple with my family before I leave for Utah because I need my mission call. 

Friday and Saturday I felt like my chest was going to explode. I felt trapped and scared. How was I going to get everything done in time? Should I go back out to Utah for the summer? Will my foot be healthy enough for me to work? Will it give me problems on my mission? Will I ever turn in my paperwork? Will my doctor cooperate with me?

I prayed and prayed for help. Because of a quiet prompting I then wrote down everything that needs to get done in a list. I put this list in a folder that contains things that need to be dealt with soon such as my immunization record, wisdom teeth evaluation referral, etc. I, yet again, am learning the hard way that my way isn't always the best way. Now that I'm more organized, my list is nearly completely checked off. My anxiety levels are minimal. My podiatrist said that my foot should be back to normal within two to three weeks (let's pray it is two please). My mission papers are nearly complete. God is good! 

We all have Goliaths in our lives. We all have trials that seem too big and too difficult to bear. But you know what? Goliath might be big, but God is bigger. 

I testify to you that I know that Christ suffered, died, and lived again for each of us. He suffered so that He knows our trials and that He can provide the mercy we need. He died so that the dead may hear his message also. He lived so that we may live again through His grace. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God's true church. I know that God is so much bigger than our trials. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

Gratitude and Grammatical Errors

Recently this blog has reached a total of roughly 2,000 views since it first began last year, with the previous post being my fifty-fifth post. The views might be small but my testimony has grown with each post. It has helped me every week to take a topic, ponder on it, learn a little more about it, then write. I'm so greatful for y'all (my readers) and the wonderful feedback I get. (I officially give you permission to message me on Google+, email, Facebook, or Pinterest if I have grammatical errors and typos). Thank you so much. 

I know that Christ lives, and through my daily experiences of learning about him and sharing those experiences I have grown, and you can too. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

You are Always in the Mission Field

Today I was running an errand when I came across this sign:

 

It reads, "You are now entering the mission field." This does not belong to my church, but I found that it struck me more than it should have. In my angst in preparation for serving a mission, thinking about places I'd love to serve, cute fun clothes and shoes to wear, I've somewhat forgotten something: where you serve does not matter, what matters is how you serve. Being a missionary will be an amazing experience whether I serve in Austria or Oklahoma. (Although Austria would definitely warrant some dancing and singing on some green hills).

It also makes me think of the fact that the moment you leave church, you are entering the mission field. There is someone out there who has questions that need answers, someone who need love, someone who needs a friend like you to introduce them to the gospel. Maybe it's an inactive member, maybe it's a nonmember, maybe it's an active member who needs some service. There is someone who needs you and perhaps your testimony can rekindle their flame of faith. 

I bear my testimony to you that I know that God directs his apostles to send the missionaries wherever they need to go, and wherever they are needed. I know that missionary work is important. I know that Christ lives. I leave these things with y'all in the name of Jesus Christ amen.