Anxiety and Testimonies

I realized a few days ago I never wrote down what I learned from the plunge into anxiety I had starting really a year ago. A friend of mine asked how he could help a friend who was struggling with mental health stuff and was questioning his testimony and if it even made a difference seeing that our mental states can be altered by medications and therapies. Here are my thoughts:

The secret to knowing the gospel is true AND SEEING THE RESULTS is by trying it with real intent, not just asking. That's also the thing with mental illness, you can't expect to feel better by reading about medications and therapies, you must act and it takes some trial and error. (Side note, they've actually done studies and there's a certain part of the brain that is active during Christian prayer that isn't active in other methods of prayer). Much like my companion with diabetes, she kept up with her diabetes not only because she wanted to live, but because she knew that if she was healthy she could feel the Spirit more. 

I also know that the Lord has a special place in his heart and hand for those of us with mental illnesses. I know I felt a special protection in a way during the transfer that I struggled the most with my anxiety and depression. I talked to my mission president about going home. At that time i was studying the words of Christ in the New Testament and through studying the New Testament I gained a more sure witness of Christ and his character, but also of the Book of Mormon. I learned of Christ's love and plan in the Book of Mormon, and in the New Testament I learned of His character and the way He taught.

I know 100% that the Book of Mormon is true, not only because of the testimony I gained on my mission, but from my continued reading of it.

I also know that I am not happy and cannot feel joy when I am not on my meds. I am not me. The Lord provided medicines so that we can balance out many of the chemical problems our brains have. It's when we are "normal" we feel the Lord's guidance more because we aren't as much of a slave to the temptations of our own minds.

I know I did feel the Spirit several times when my anxiety took a plunge and I really struggled, but those times were of great intensity and weren't very often. I was so wrapped up in the anxiety that I felt like I was drowning in my own thoughts. The Lord never wants us to feel that way.

I testify to each of you that I know that God lives, that Jesus Christ is our Savior, and that the Book of Mormon is true. I know that as we lean on the Lord and follow his guidance, we will find joy. We will also lead others to joy. Find, teach, and baptize! In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Cause You Know She's All About that Grace

"A powerful expression of that love is what the scriptures often call the grace of God—the divine assistance and endowment of strength by which we grow from the flawed and limited beings we are now into exalted beings of 'truth and light, until [we are]glorified in truth and [know] all things.'" (The Gift of Grace by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf).

Yesterday in Institute (like Bible study for young adults) we were talking a lot about grace. One of the main things grace can do for us is magnify our abilities, gives us strength, hope, and allows us a greater ability to empathize with others. I feel like I am gaining more and more respect for my mother every day. Through the entire lesson all that I could think of was my mom. She is an amazing woman who has done so much for our family. It takes a special kind of person to want to serve in the military, but it also takes a special kind of person to be a military-supportive spouse. My mom rose to the occasion. She is my idol. She was our strength while my dad was deployed, when he had his heart attack, when he was away at the many schools, etc. My mom is my hero. She is skilled at using the gift of grace, especially while she had to be a "single mom" while my dad was deployed.

I am so grateful for the gift of grace and my mom. She has taught me so much. I know that by grace we are saved after all we can do. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.