Breathe and Let Go

I've learned a lot over the last couple weeks, but I'm going to tell y'all something in particular that I know applies to everyone. I've been struggling with having really negative thoughts lately. Not suicidal or inappropriate really, just angry or bitter thoughts. These are still detrimental to our spiritual growth when left unchecked. We are not to listen or entertain these thoughts. Granted, it's not a sin to experience anger, sadness, disappointment, discouragement, but almost cancerous for us to hold onto these feelings. I've seen first hand this week what someone looks and acts like they hold onto these feelings and trust me guys, it's not pretty.

Something I read recently is that when we experience these extremes of emotions, it's important to give them some validation, we take a minute to feel that emotion, and then like a balloon, we must let them go. Take some deep breathes and let the Savior handle whatever caused you to feel this way. As we focus on the Savior and becoming more like Him and bringing peace into our lives, we can find joy. I know it. Life brings with it a roller coaster of experiences, and so it's ok to take a minute with a friend and do a breathing exercise. Sometime take a minute with a friend, stand up and face your friend, hold hands, look and each other in the eyes, and breathe deeply in while raising your hands, and then lower your hands on the slow exhale. Do this three times and you'll feel calm and less anxiety. I did this with a friend who was having a meltdown because of the stress going on at home. While I couldn't make the stress go away, I could help her feel more calm and in control.

A personal goal of mine is to focus on Christ whenever these bad thoughts come and to tell myself daily that I am enough and it is through my relationship with Christ that I can find peace, not through other people. I know the Lord gave us these coping mechanisms to help us feel ready for challenges ahead of us and I know that with prayer, scripture study, and focus, these things will make us better disciples of Jesus Christ. I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Learning His Way

"And the Spirit said unto me: Behold, what desirest thou? And I said: I desire to behold the things which my father saw. And the Spirit said unto me: Believest thou that thy father saw the tree of which he hath spoken? And I said: Yea, thou knowest that I believe all the words of my father. And when I had spoken these words, the Spirit cried with a loud voice, saying: Hosanna to the Lord, the most high God; for he is God over all the earth, yea, even above all. And blessed art thou, Nephi, because thou believest in the Son of the most high God; wherefore, thou shalt behold the things which thou hast desired." (1 Nephi 11:2-6) 

As I was listening to the scriptures last night I heard this part and it struck me, "Nephi didn't ask why he saw the dream, because he must have had an inkling of understanding already. He asked what it meant." With a current trial I'm going through I keep asking myself why I feel this way, why is it so difficult to get over , and why now? But really I should be asking for understanding, to understand what the Lord is trying to teach me right now, and what can I learn from this.

I'm excited to learn from the Lord what he wants to teach me because I know that I will be able to, at least eventually, see this from an eternal perspective. I know that the Lord speaks to us today, and I look forward to learning more about his ways this weekend from General Conference. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Reapeth in Joy

"Turn again our captivity, O Lord, as the streams in the south. They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." (Psalm 126:4-6) 

This relates very much to a previous study I has a few days ago, where it came to me again that the Lord will always provide a way out, he never only hounds us with trials, and they don't last forever. But it also reminds me of the song "My Kindness Shall Not Depart from Thee." It's a beautiful song quoting verses from Isaiah and the Doctrine and Covenants. How even when the Lord allows us to experience trials, he doesn't leave us, and he will deliver us from trials eventually in his timing.

It actually reminds me a lot of one of the poems I recently wrote titled, "Never Left Alone." It says, 

"Despite how hard this week has been,

The depression,

The anger,

The confusion,

And the feeling of being utterly lost. 

Despite all these things,

I know that I will never be left by someone. 

Someone who will always stand beside me,

Despite how much I want to run from Him,

He will always come when I call. 

He can help heal every heartache I have,

Provide the balm of Gilead on any wound,

And give the strength through grace to get through the day. 

I know that my pain isn't gone,

But I look back on this week and I see how He has been with me each day.

Every day I was with someone who was there to listen,

People placed in my path to listen, comfort and guide me. 

My boss,

My best friend,

My dear friends from church,

One of my youth leaders from growing up,

My parents,

My branch president and his wife.

I was never left alone. 

And even when I was technically alone,

The Lord was with me. 

I might have given in to some negative angry thoughts,

But He still loves me and wants to help me. 

As I strive to improve and heal,

He'll be able to give me more and more strength,

Freely."

I love this verse in Psalms because currently I'm going through a lot emotionally. I have a lot of stress and I have had a lot of negative thoughts that I'm not proud of. But I know that the Lord is watching over me and will help heal me as I continue to turn to him. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Learning a lot but not nearly enough

In missionary prep class and the lesson was mostly role play and the teacher made a couple of really good points during the lesson: the missionaries are supposed to develop the gift of discernment in questions (read the question within the question, aka find the eternal question within the mortal question) and members are vital to missionary work. In our role play the teacher was an investigator whose wife just died and he had questions about life after death, but his unspoken question (which was technically spoken because it was just a role play in a missionary prep class) was whether he will see her again. Through a member (whether they be a friend to the investigator or they just came) we can infuse life experience into our testimonies and lessons so that people will find more common ground with the gospel, rather than just hearing it from a couple of inexperienced people barely old enough to vote. There's a lot that goes into missionary work and there is a lot we can learn about people and how to deal with them from serving a mission. I will be learning so much. I am very excited to serve in the Seattle Washington mission. I know God loves each of us and as we serve his children, we will grow closer to him. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.