Learning His Ways

I learned this week what happens when we are in the right place, the around the right people, doing the right things, but rushing the Lord 's timetable... I made a decision this week that really didn't need to be made for another few weeks. What I did wasn't wrong, it just was done at the wrong time. I was lucky enough to be going to the temple a couple hours later. I went and did some sealings and sat in the Celestial room for a time and felt horrible about what I'd done. However, I didn't feel guilty, I felt hurt.

I was praying to the Lord and asking why this happened, why I did this thing, why this always happens, etc. lots of self-pity. Then I felt a nudge to open a Book of Mormon to a "random page". I opened to Alma 34:38-41. it said, "That ye contend no more against the Holy Ghost, but that ye receive it, and take upon you the name of Christ; that ye humble yourselves even to the dust, and worship God, in whatsoever place ye may be in, in spirit and in truth; and that ye live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you. Yea, and I also exhort you, my brethren, that ye be watchful unto prayer continually, that ye may not be led away by the temptations of the devil, that he may not overpower you, that ye may not become his subjects at the last day; for behold, he rewardeth you no good thing. And now my beloved brethren, I would exhort you to have patience, and that ye bear with all manner of afflictions; that ye do not revile against those who do cast you out because of your exceeding poverty, lest ye become sinners like unto them; But that ye have patience, and bear with those afflictions, with a firm hope that ye shall one day rest from all your afflictions." Basically the Lord called me to repentance and told me I was being impatient.

Afterwards, I apologized to the person I had hurt, and I hopefully have made up for my immaturity I displayed. I knew I needed to work on my impatience, but I see now that I really need to work on it.

Patience can be viewed as the Christlike attribute everyone appreciates the most when it is given, but can be the most difficult to develop (that and humility). It really is something that is difficult to achieve, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. I know that as we pray for patience and strive to act on it, we will be blessed greatly. I leave these things with y'all, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

My Ways are Higher than Your Ways

This week I've learned a lot from the Lord about perspective. I've been reflecting a lot on what I've learned the past few months, and I've made a lot of progress. This week the Lord opened my eyes and showed me a glimpse of what he has in store for me, similar to many of the revelatory moments I had on my mission. I've learned a lot about when we listen to the Lord, we will be placed exactly where we need to be in order to experience the things that we need in order to progress in the gospel. But not only that, we will see the blessings within our patriarchal blessings unfold. It is so neat to see small and simple things, like dominos beginning to fall, move and happen. The Lord truly keeps his promises when we keep ours. I know this to be true. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Anxiety and Testimonies

I realized a few days ago I never wrote down what I learned from the plunge into anxiety I had starting really a year ago. A friend of mine asked how he could help a friend who was struggling with mental health stuff and was questioning his testimony and if it even made a difference seeing that our mental states can be altered by medications and therapies. Here are my thoughts:

The secret to knowing the gospel is true AND SEEING THE RESULTS is by trying it with real intent, not just asking. That's also the thing with mental illness, you can't expect to feel better by reading about medications and therapies, you must act and it takes some trial and error. (Side note, they've actually done studies and there's a certain part of the brain that is active during Christian prayer that isn't active in other methods of prayer). Much like my companion with diabetes, she kept up with her diabetes not only because she wanted to live, but because she knew that if she was healthy she could feel the Spirit more. 

I also know that the Lord has a special place in his heart and hand for those of us with mental illnesses. I know I felt a special protection in a way during the transfer that I struggled the most with my anxiety and depression. I talked to my mission president about going home. At that time i was studying the words of Christ in the New Testament and through studying the New Testament I gained a more sure witness of Christ and his character, but also of the Book of Mormon. I learned of Christ's love and plan in the Book of Mormon, and in the New Testament I learned of His character and the way He taught.

I know 100% that the Book of Mormon is true, not only because of the testimony I gained on my mission, but from my continued reading of it.

I also know that I am not happy and cannot feel joy when I am not on my meds. I am not me. The Lord provided medicines so that we can balance out many of the chemical problems our brains have. It's when we are "normal" we feel the Lord's guidance more because we aren't as much of a slave to the temptations of our own minds.

I know I did feel the Spirit several times when my anxiety took a plunge and I really struggled, but those times were of great intensity and weren't very often. I was so wrapped up in the anxiety that I felt like I was drowning in my own thoughts. The Lord never wants us to feel that way.

I testify to each of you that I know that God lives, that Jesus Christ is our Savior, and that the Book of Mormon is true. I know that as we lean on the Lord and follow his guidance, we will find joy. We will also lead others to joy. Find, teach, and baptize! In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Breathe and Let Go

I've learned a lot over the last couple weeks, but I'm going to tell y'all something in particular that I know applies to everyone. I've been struggling with having really negative thoughts lately. Not suicidal or inappropriate really, just angry or bitter thoughts. These are still detrimental to our spiritual growth when left unchecked. We are not to listen or entertain these thoughts. Granted, it's not a sin to experience anger, sadness, disappointment, discouragement, but almost cancerous for us to hold onto these feelings. I've seen first hand this week what someone looks and acts like they hold onto these feelings and trust me guys, it's not pretty.

Something I read recently is that when we experience these extremes of emotions, it's important to give them some validation, we take a minute to feel that emotion, and then like a balloon, we must let them go. Take some deep breathes and let the Savior handle whatever caused you to feel this way. As we focus on the Savior and becoming more like Him and bringing peace into our lives, we can find joy. I know it. Life brings with it a roller coaster of experiences, and so it's ok to take a minute with a friend and do a breathing exercise. Sometime take a minute with a friend, stand up and face your friend, hold hands, look and each other in the eyes, and breathe deeply in while raising your hands, and then lower your hands on the slow exhale. Do this three times and you'll feel calm and less anxiety. I did this with a friend who was having a meltdown because of the stress going on at home. While I couldn't make the stress go away, I could help her feel more calm and in control.

A personal goal of mine is to focus on Christ whenever these bad thoughts come and to tell myself daily that I am enough and it is through my relationship with Christ that I can find peace, not through other people. I know the Lord gave us these coping mechanisms to help us feel ready for challenges ahead of us and I know that with prayer, scripture study, and focus, these things will make us better disciples of Jesus Christ. I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Learning His Way

"And the Spirit said unto me: Behold, what desirest thou? And I said: I desire to behold the things which my father saw. And the Spirit said unto me: Believest thou that thy father saw the tree of which he hath spoken? And I said: Yea, thou knowest that I believe all the words of my father. And when I had spoken these words, the Spirit cried with a loud voice, saying: Hosanna to the Lord, the most high God; for he is God over all the earth, yea, even above all. And blessed art thou, Nephi, because thou believest in the Son of the most high God; wherefore, thou shalt behold the things which thou hast desired." (1 Nephi 11:2-6) 

As I was listening to the scriptures last night I heard this part and it struck me, "Nephi didn't ask why he saw the dream, because he must have had an inkling of understanding already. He asked what it meant." With a current trial I'm going through I keep asking myself why I feel this way, why is it so difficult to get over , and why now? But really I should be asking for understanding, to understand what the Lord is trying to teach me right now, and what can I learn from this.

I'm excited to learn from the Lord what he wants to teach me because I know that I will be able to, at least eventually, see this from an eternal perspective. I know that the Lord speaks to us today, and I look forward to learning more about his ways this weekend from General Conference. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Tender mercies :)

So today was a rollercoaster but I had the greatest tender mercy from one of my former companions. On the mission I had helped her along the road to recovery with gaining weight again. She has a eating disorder and it was with me that she started to gain weight again and learned to be happy with it. Since being home the stress has been really hard on her and she's lost some weight. Most of our correspondence now has been recipes to try and such. Tonight she told me she is seeing a nutritionist for her eating disorder. The amount of pride and love I had when she told me about this swelled within me. I almost started to cry. I was so happy for her. I can kind of relate in some ways because I struggle to gain weight mostly because of my metabolism. I know I was meant to be a part of her life and she a part of mine.

AND yesterday I saw that on of the companions I got super close with came home and I got to talk to her on the phone for a few minutes. I am so proud of her for fulfilling her mission. She had a super difficult time for a quite a while, but she came out on top. In fact, our transfer was her do or die transfer, she either was able to work to her fullest ability with me, or she went home. Despite her anxiety, she improved leaps and bounds and became the missionary everyone knew she could become.

I know the Lord had me go on a mission, not just for the sake of going, but because I had people I needed to meet, and people that needed to meet me. I know that the Lord puts us exactly where we need to be when we follow His direction. I leave these things wit you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Reapeth in Joy

"Turn again our captivity, O Lord, as the streams in the south. They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." (Psalm 126:4-6) 

This relates very much to a previous study I has a few days ago, where it came to me again that the Lord will always provide a way out, he never only hounds us with trials, and they don't last forever. But it also reminds me of the song "My Kindness Shall Not Depart from Thee." It's a beautiful song quoting verses from Isaiah and the Doctrine and Covenants. How even when the Lord allows us to experience trials, he doesn't leave us, and he will deliver us from trials eventually in his timing.

It actually reminds me a lot of one of the poems I recently wrote titled, "Never Left Alone." It says, 

"Despite how hard this week has been,

The depression,

The anger,

The confusion,

And the feeling of being utterly lost. 

Despite all these things,

I know that I will never be left by someone. 

Someone who will always stand beside me,

Despite how much I want to run from Him,

He will always come when I call. 

He can help heal every heartache I have,

Provide the balm of Gilead on any wound,

And give the strength through grace to get through the day. 

I know that my pain isn't gone,

But I look back on this week and I see how He has been with me each day.

Every day I was with someone who was there to listen,

People placed in my path to listen, comfort and guide me. 

My boss,

My best friend,

My dear friends from church,

One of my youth leaders from growing up,

My parents,

My branch president and his wife.

I was never left alone. 

And even when I was technically alone,

The Lord was with me. 

I might have given in to some negative angry thoughts,

But He still loves me and wants to help me. 

As I strive to improve and heal,

He'll be able to give me more and more strength,

Freely."

I love this verse in Psalms because currently I'm going through a lot emotionally. I have a lot of stress and I have had a lot of negative thoughts that I'm not proud of. But I know that the Lord is watching over me and will help heal me as I continue to turn to him. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Mountains and Valleys

“For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5))

I love this verse because it reminds me of the many reminders we’ve had from the prophets that trials aren’t forever. We aren’t always going to be climbing a mountain. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Every trial eventually has an end. Granted, some may be with us our whole lives, like disabilities. But we won’t have those in the resurrection.
Oftentimes the end of a trial happens when we learn something the Lord is trying to teach us. Sometimes it’s only when we humble ourselves and turn to the Lord that we are able to conquer a trial. 

Just recently I experienced something really really hard, compacted with stress from work and stress from school, it felt like I’d never make it out from under whatever rock had fallen on top of me. But a friend of mine pointed me in the right direction. No pity party, it’s now time to ask yourself, “Where am I spiritually lacking?” Well, my studies weren’t great, they were decent but not great. And so I revamped them (aka thanks from reading my revamped studies, I hope this inspires you to revamp yours too). 

I also, despite the pushback from Satan, attended church to partake of the sacrament. It was amazing and fulfilling. It filled me so much where I was feeling so empty. 

On Tuesday I went to the temple and I did an initiatory session. It was so beautiful and I learned so much. Afterwards I didn’t want to leave the temple grounds, so I sat outside the temple on a bench and just marveled at the temple and felt the Spirit and peace. 

This really is the way we can fully heal a broken heart, we turn to the Lord. I can’t say that I’m completely whole, but I’m on the right path. 

Joy in the Temple

This week has been unbelievably stressful. My personal job, and school lives each imploded within 72 hours starting on Monday. Granted, I still have both jobs, I still have school and I'm no longer behind on homework, and I still have all my amazing and wonderful friends. But I started to listen to a lot of negative thinking as I wandered through last week in a lot of emotional pain. Sunday it hit me like a ton of bricks, "You are enough! The Atonement will help heal this pain if you move forward, despite what anyone else's decisions are. You are your own person." Well, dang! Haha! The sacrament helped a ton and I just want to emphasize to each of you that when you trust in the Lord, and move forward doing the things we know we need to do, you will be blessed and comforted. 

I’m coming to the conclusion of my studies on hearts in the Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine, and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. The next topic I am studying is joy. This is something I need to relearn how to have, given the events of last week, I want to be able to find more godly joy in my life. 

My study begins in Ezra (as this is the first mentioning of the word joy in the Bible). Ezra 3:11-13, “And they sang together by course in praising and giving thanks unto the Lord; because he is good, for his mercy endureth for ever toward Israel. And all the people shouted with a great shout, when they praised the Lord, because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid. But many of the priests and Levites and chief of the fathers, who were ancient men, that had seen the first house, when the foundation of this house was laid before their eyes, wept with a loud voice; and many shouted aloud for joy: So that the people could not discern the noise of the shout of joy from the noise of the weeping of the people: for the people shouted with a loud shout, and the noise was heard afar off.”

Why were they weeping with joy? Why was there such an explosion of emotion? Because the temple was being rebuilt. The house of the Lord. Can you imagine being without it? I was just depressed when I found out the Raleigh temple was going to be refurbished for a year so I’d have to drive down to Columbia, South Carolina when I needed to go to the temple! But I can’t even imagine how amazing it will be when the temple reopens and we have the cultural celebration and we’ll basically throw an amazing huge party celebrating the house of the Lord being open once again in the state of North Carolina.

I love the temple and I know of the peace that it can bring as we attend worthily and we seek the Lord with our whole hearts. I love the Lord so much and I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Missing the Mission

Hello all! This past Monday was a great day! I invited my best friend Karis to come to FHE and she came and she loved it! She's so excited to come to more activities and everything! 

This week I've been given responsibility over some of the social media of the publishing business I work for. It's been fun making little picture quotes for the facebook pages I'm in charge of, and in fact I've seen progress on these pages, slow progress but it's progress. 

This was also my first week of classes and I love them all so far. My classes all have to do with my major, early childhood education, and I just get so excited about my classes and what I'm learning. It feels so right. I'm so grateful for the Lord's guidance and my listening to Him. 

Haha on Saturday I was driving home from class (I have a Saturday class five times this semester), and I pass this man who is working in his yard. I had the thought that I should pull over and ask him if he needed any help. So I did, and I left the keys in the car. I asked him if he needed any help and he said no thank you but that was so sweet of you. I go back to my car and I realize I locked myself out of my car. So he notices that I can't get in my car and he offers to take me to my house and get my key with me. So he went to get his wife and she took me up to my house to grab my dad's key to help me unlock my car. We had a very nice conversation, but I felt like an idiot the whole time. I literally couldn't stop laughing when I got home. BUT I listened to the Spirit, and who know she what blessings will come from this. 

I need y'all to pray for my friend Cindy Poma, she's been missing since Saturday and it's driving me nuts. Everyone on Facebook is losing their minds and her family is worried sick. She needs to be found soon safe. Thank you! 

I miss the mission so much, every day. Yesterday I asked my branch president if he still missed his mission and even he said yes! The mission is a wonderful place with structure, the Spirit is in everything you do, you have a purpose, etc. But moving on is inevitable, but that doesn't mean you forget your mission either. I am finding opportunities to share the gospel with my friends every day. I got to share a pamphlet with my boss on Friday because she had questions about the Plan of Salvation. These little things build up and one day you get to have moments like I had on Monday with Karis at FHE. It's so cool to share the gospel with the people you love. I know these things to be true, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

God's Timing

Soooooo I'm so sorry this hasn't been kept up as it should be... I will try to do better, I promise.


So this week I was able to get fully registered for school (stupid high school), got my books, and today I started my classes. I'm so excited! All of my classes are mostly online (there are two that are online but also meet 4 times this semester). I am able to work on school work while I'm at work if I'm not busy with a customer and everything seems to be going great! I spent half of Saturday helping a member of my branch get started working on her family history. It was so cool because she was in the foster care system so she doesn't know a ton about her biological parents besides when they were born and when they died. But her brothers (all active members of the church) have done some family history so we had some stuff to work with. We found out that many of her ancestors served in the Civil and Revolutionary Wars! They came over while our country was still being colonized and that was so neat! How cool to know that your ancestors helped set up the foundation of our country! (Haha mine just came over and saw the east coast and went, "Hmm this is nice, whelp, bye!" And then went west).

I really truly love it here in Carthage and am so grateful for God's timing. I asked my dad yesterday for a back to school blessing. In my blessing, I was told over and over that the major I have chosen is the one that God wants for me. I will help many people that can't help themselves and that whatever obstacles come up they are not from the Lord for He needs me in this path. I know that I am doing the right thing by pursuing a degree in early childhood education in preparation to get my degree in special education. I know that the Lord has a plan for each of us in this life. If we but follow him and seek him out in prayer and fasting, we will receive answers. I leave these things with y'all in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I Volunteered with a Clown

Guess Who I'm training! The cutest Sister Missionary ever! Sister Christensen! She's amazing and I love her.

This week was fabulous! Monday evening we had dinner with our investigator Liz who was a referral from Sister Steed (I want to be just like Sister Steed when I grow up, seriously). She met her when I was sick a couple weeks ago. When we had dinner with Liz we mostly listened because she and Sister Steed became instant best friends. It was wonderful to see! She explained to us that she didn't like that other churches condemn people so much and that everyone is just going to go to hell.  We talked about the Plan of Salvation and she just loved every second of it. She said everything makes sense and she can't wait to learn more.

Sister Sand transferring out was still very sad :( but she's in the right place at the right time and Inglemoor doesn't need her and she doesn't have have anything else to learn from Inglemoor. But then I was put with Sister Christensen and she is wonderful! I can't ask for a better trainee! She's sharp and so ready to work! 

Liz came to the Relief Society potluck on Tuesday and everyone just loved her! Sister Christensen did great with getting to know everyone and I'm just so proud of her. 

That night we had a lesson with our investigator Audrey. She has a lot going on in her family and she just kept saying how much her Aunt Becky loved the hearts ("Heart attack"). We talked about the Godhead and the Atonement. She loved it and she was so upset because she lost the Book of Mormon we gave her. Then we showed her the Book of Mormon app and she was over the moon! She loves the audio setting because she has dyslexia and has a hard time reading. Sister Christensen did great with sharing her thoughts and feelings from the Spirit on her first day!

On Wednesday we had three powerful member lessons. I'm so excited for this ward to really explode with member missionary work. We're helping individual families create family mission plans. It's so dang cool.  

Our weekly planning session was wonderful! She catches on so quickly! And it was the first time I weekly planned within three hours since being companions with Sister Truax. Very led by the Spirit also. 

Also on Thursday we had another lesson with Liz on the Restoration. As we spoke on prophets and how God has always called prophets, and Sister Christensen testified of our modern day prophet (seriously, easiest trainee ever!), Liz was amazed. The Spirit was so strong during that lesson! Sister Steed and Liz's friendship is blossoming and Liz is excited to come to church with her husband (he comes back into town in a week and a half). She even said the closing prayer and the Spirit was so strong. I was nearly brought to tears! It was so special. We invited her to be baptized and she said she would like to learn more first (but she was totally moved by the Spirit and wanted to say yes).

We attended somethign called "Care Day" on Friday. It's where those who are struggling can come and have some basic needs met. There were booths for dental care, haircuts, social security sign up, health checkups, etc. We were at the end where the exit survey was and handed out two bags of groceries to families as they left. I saw SISTER NAKAMURA AND MOSES THERE!!!!!  I was over the moon. I was so happy to see them because I just love them and miss them so much. 

One of the most rewarding experiences was walking into our investigators's home and it felt like she was keeping commitments. We were talking to our investigator's Aunt Becky about the scriptures and she told us that Audrey (our investigator) was so excited about the Book of Mormon app and the audio setting that she listens to it all the time!

I love Inglemoor and I can't wait to help each of these wonderful people here to progress towards life with our Heavenly Father. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Follow Jesus

1. (Chorus)
   I need thee, oh, I need thee;
   Ev'ry hour I need thee!
   Oh, bless me now, my Savior;
   I come to thee!
2. 2. I need thee ev'ry hour;
   Stay thou nearby.
   Temptations lose their pow'r
   When thou art nigh.
3. 3. I need thee ev'ry hour,
   In joy or pain.
   Come quickly and abide,
   Or life is vain.
4. I need thee ev'ry hour,Most holy One.
5. Oh, make me thine indeed,
   Thou blessed Son!
6. Text: Annie S. Hawks, 1835-1918
   Music: Robert Lowry, 1826-1899

I'm learning a lot about following as a trainer. Following the Spirit, following Christ, following the mission rules, etc. I am learning a lot about how to follow, and thus being a good leader. If I want my trainee to be a follower of Christ, then I must follow Him as much as I can. There was a story from conference a while ago about a child that was following in her mom's footsteps. At one point her mom was upset with her because she kept tripping over her. When she asked why she was doing this she said, "I was told in Primary to follow Jesus Christ. I don't see Jesus Christ, but I do see you." I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve in this calling. This is such a blessing! I know that following Jesus Christ means following others oftentimes. I know that the example my trainer set for me was wonderful, and thus I will do my best with God's help to serve Sister Christensen. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

The Blessing of Teaching

I'm learning so much as a trainer and I'm having so much fun. It's funny as a trainer you feel like you don't have fears because you're working on helping your trainee overcome her fears. I love Sister Christensen so much. She's so dang cute and I love how much she loves teaching. It's funny because I still feel like a greenie. I still have energy and love the work. I love being a missionary! There's something I've come to learn a lot while being a trainer: you set the example for how your new missionary should act and she will follow it. She's going to take what she has learned from you and take it with her throughout her whole mission. This brings to mind the scripture in Alma 56 about the stripling warriors, "... yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them. And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it." I am so grateful for this great responsibility that the Lord has given me. I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior, and as we lead and teach in His way, not only will we be blessed, but those who learn from us will also be blessed. I close in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Fulfilling my Purpose

The last couple weeks we've been "heart-attacking" (putting cute notes, scriptures, words from hymns, etc.) on cut out hearts and taping them to doors of investigators, members, and less-actives. One evening we felt a prompting to heart-attack our investigators' door (Audrey, Todd, and Becky). Neither of us coordinated this but all of the hearts we put on their door had to do with the Savior and the Atonement (the whole song Gethsemane, Alma 7:11-12, etc.). We put them up all over their door and ran back to the car. The next morning we sent a text to Audrey asking if we were still good to visit the next day. She called us and told us that the afternoon before Becky found out that her uncle was dying and so they all took a bus to go and see him. On the way there they get the call that he had already passed and to just wait for the funeral. They came back to their apartment at 4 in the morning and saw the heart. Becky was previously sobbing uncontrollably and as soon as she saw the hearts she calmed and refused to have them taken down. Audrey had called to thank us and said she was looking forward to us coming by again. 

I was in awe of the whole situation. Sister Sand and I were speechless. It was in that moment I knew I was fulfilling my purpose as a missionary. I haven't seen any of my investigators be baptized, I haven't seen the full reactivation of a family, but I know that I am fullfilling my purpose as a missionary because I feel the Spirit testify through me and the Lord is using me to be an answer to people's prayers. I know that I am in the right place and I know that Jesus Christ lives. I know this is His only true church, where the gospel of Jesus Christ is full and without error. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Being There for Others

On Thursday we sang "I Know that My Redeemer Lives" to practice for the fireside. Normally my favorite verse is the third verse, but this time the second verse stood out to me. "He lives to grant me rich supply. He lives to guide me with his eye. He lives to comfort me when faint. He lives to hear my soul's complaint. He lives to silence all my fears. He lives to wipe away my tears. He lives to calm my troubled heart. He lives all blessings to impart." Our choir director told us that sometimes as representatives of Jesus Christ, we do those things for other people. When Laura was practically dying she turned to us and the Lord. We comforted her and listened to her. We spoke the words the Spirit brought to mind and brought her the peace she needed to move forward. As missionaries we are there for investigators, less-active members, active members, and recent converts to the Lord's church when others aren't. I'm learning more and more about the Savior and what He does for us on an individual basis through people. I am so grateful to be His missionary. I know that my Redeemer lives. I know He's there for us. Always. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

He is There for us

This week we got to share a verse of scripture with a sister in the ward who was struggling. "But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love." (2 Nephi 1:15) In our times of trial, sometimes it is hard to see how the Lord could help us. Oftentimes the Lord won't take the trial away from us either (oftentimes much to our disappointment too). But he does listen, he can help us, he will comfort us, and he will help us through our afflictions. Much like the people in Mosiah chapter 21, they weren't immediately delivered from bondage, oftentimes we won't be either. The Lord will help us carry our burden, to teach us how to be strong. Then we will know how to help others in similar situations. I've learned a lot so far about letting the Lord carry part of my load. I understand that He needs to be the teacher and not me. I understand that it is His work that I am here to do, and not mine. I have a hard time letting people carry and know about the burdens I carry. He is teaching me more and more that I am not to carry trials alone. I can ask for help from Him. He is there for me. He is there for you! I know this to be true in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

God Answers His Willing Servants

On Thursday we saw a HUGE miracle. We met a member's new neighbor because Elder Mann's pants were eaten by the dryer! We contacted our member, who sews, and she invited us over that night to drop them off and to meet her new neighbors. Long story short, her new neighbors are super prepared and asked us a lot of questions about what we do as missionaries. The member was super excited to work with us to teach her neighbor. Saturday evening my back was in a lot of pain. I've grown up doing yard work, so the service that morning should not have been a problem, but it was a combination of not relying on the Lord as much as I should have and I was sore. So I asked for a blessing. It was exactly what I needed to hear but I was lovingly chastised because I had slacked off on my personal prayers and not going to my leaders for help (but my poor district leader is on a bike! Still repenting). I took what I learned from my blessing and prayed about it with Heavenly Father. I wrote out my concerns and asked Him for help. I received a warm fuzzy feeling for most of my concerns except for who we should focus on in our area, that was a specific answer: our member's friend we just met on Thursday. It was a definitely answer that didn't leave any room for questions. I was shocked. I had never received an answer that specific before, especially not with someone I met once. It was so cool! We plan on meeting with the members this week to talk about how we want to approach their neighbor.

Many times in the scriptures it talks about those with a broken heart are nearer to God and will be healed by Him. I have a true testimony of that. I was in pieces not knowing what to do or what direction to go, especially since I haven't prepared anyone for baptism and they were actually baptized. I wanted a specific answer and I needed it then. The Lord answers those who genuinely seek Him and are willing to act on the answer He gives you, only if you're 100% willing to go and do it. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

The Blessings of Trials

I know that trials are gifts. They are opportunities to grow and to change. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and He only wants the best for me, and you! The Lord will never give us anything we can't handle without His help. The key is Him. If we rely on Him, we can do all things. If we don't rely on Him, we are limited. I say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Reflections on the past six months

This week I hit my click day and I've been out offially for six months (gasp!). It's flown by so quickly! Days feel like weeks, weeks feel like days, and months feel like minutes. My companion left for the airport this morning and it's caused a lot of reflection. I am so grateful for this time I have this time to dedicate to the Lord. It really is an opportunity to learn how to follow him and how to set myself up for how I want to be when I go home. 

1. Always try and put your companion first. 
2. Discouragement is a temptation. Don't get discouraged.
3. God doesn't expect us to be perfect, but he does expect us to do the very best we can
4. When we strive to be closer to God, he really will show us our weaknesses so that we can work on them and make them into strengths (Ether 12:27)
5. People don't only get one chance. If investigators drop us, that doesn't mean they'll never get baptized or improve their life, it just means they're just not ready.
6. I'm not made for long distance dating and being focused on missionary work.
7. Bible bashing isn't worth my time or the Lord's time. Just testify and walk away.
8. I will never go a week without the sacrament if I can help it. It is too precious and so needed.
9. Don't be negative, that lets Satan in and then your thoughts become hard to control.
10. I'm so done with football in general. People here are OBSESSED. I literally see the number 12 everywhere I go and I actually kind of miss seeing crosses everywhere in the South.
11. Hanging a cross somewhere in your home (and all over churches, schools, daycare, etc.) is officially downright creepy. You're hanging a reminder that Jesus died! Like, dead. So morbid! The fact that he died is important, but it's just as important as the fact that he suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane and was resurrected. ALL of it is important. 
12. The gospel needs to be known by the heart and not just the mind. When only understood by the mind, you get people like the guy I met on Thursday who believes that Jesus really did come to America and wants the Book of Mormon to be true. BUT he holds too fast to the hearsay he has heard about the church and believes that the Book of Mormon is a "second gospel". Good person, just doesn't have a testimony.
13. Always just testify when I talk to my friends, if they have questions about doctrine, I should let the missionaries help me. My job as a member is be support and testimony, the missionaries teach and baptize.

etc...

But I kind of want to concentrate this little nugget right here: Alma 37:7 "...the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes...", Alma 37:6 "...that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass...", Alma 37:41 "...because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works...", 1 Nephi 16:29 "...by small means the Lord can bring about great things..." It really is the little things that matter! When we stop doing the small things like reading the Book of Mormon every single day and praying every day, we become casual in things like going to church and going to the temple. The little things build up and then before you know it you're not coming to church, you're working at another church in the daycare on Sundays, and wondering how you got there.

I know with a surety that the Book of Mormon is true. Real, in-depth study, is how we keep our testimonies alive. If you don't already know if it is true, I invite you to read it and find out for yourself. It will truly change your life as it has mine. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.